Bang the ball till u put the biscut in the basket

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:59:36 GMT

gobbly gook

Venting...

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 02:43:31 GMT

Seeing as no one really reads these anymore, I think its safe to vent here. So I have this roomate, and despite the fact that she has basically got me evicted by over excessive parties, she continues to ignore me and my warnings. Repeatedly she has people over despite my objections that eat and drink our shit and leave messes behind and yet do NOTHING for repayment; rather when they leave their stuff at my place and I eat it, they demand i pay them. Well fuck that. The long and short of it is that if i could get out what i really wanna say, it would be explictive after explicitive over and over. Seriously, I dare say that my roomate, her friend and friends of her friends may be the dumbest people on the face of the planet. Already they have caused damage to the house and yet not offered to pay for it. Well, rather they have offered to pay for the ceiling fan they broke, but yet Jenna does nothing to pursue it, even though i should too. But they also have burned marks into the HARDWOOD FLOOR with the hookah, and despite my saying that its not allowed anymore, they continue to bring it over. When im gone, they totally ignore everything i say and even go as far to smoke in the house, and not only that, but smoke pot IN MY ROOM! Ive gotta figure a way outta this mess, and while i strongly want to take vengance in some way, im not sure how or if i should. There is a logical side of me telling me to keep cool and collective and instead of brute force, figure out another way to ruin her. But thats all i want right now, is to ruin her.

Funny thing is that by tomarrow, i prolly wont even entirely agree with the context of this blog. Eh, w/e haha

Look, Ive posted!

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 02:28:37 GMT

Well hello all. Its been a long time since Ive put any thing up here. Its also occured to me how, errr, immature I was back then? Regardless, while I should be studying for a exam tomarrow, I am writing a entry I likely will not check on nor update for quite sometime, but writing non the less. So whats up with my life as of late? Im a sophmore at UWM, starting defense for the lacrosse team (which isnt saying much, but I get my respect.) Im still chillin' with a one Eriks Pukite, tho thats about all I see of my old highshcool friends, well cept Cj. I see him often too. I now live on the Eastside with a buddy of mine, Jenna, but we got evicted so Ill be moving outta there soon enough to wherever the wind blows me :)Furthermore I have an extremely beautiful girlfriend whom makes me terribly happy that I would do anything for. Literally, shes the best thing that has happend to me in the past year or so :D But for all of ya who havent seen or heard from me inna while, heres a updated pict of me. Aside from the one like 3 pages back which had to be like...sophmore year of Highschool, so 4 years ago about. With that sad, its time to quit stalling an study. Cya round!

hiya

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 07:08:15 GMT

hiya homies, its been a while

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:51:18 GMT

Sup doods and doodettes

I am currently about 7 to 8 hours away from gettin a cell phone. Ik, huge event, you all should be proud as now u can finally call me without fear of mamma benson answering

TAKE THAT TRABEK

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:43:30 GMT

hey yall..been a while so im not sure y im on here..regardless ive got another 23 days of break so party on bitches!!

TAKE THAT TRABEK

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:43:30 GMT

hey yall..been a while so im not sure y im on here..regardless ive got another 23 days of break so party on bitches!!

Dust in the wind..all we are is dust in the wind

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 05:11:58 GMT

hello all, its been a while
sadly this entry has a rather sour tone..ready?

Girls fuck you over and friends stab in the back.

This has been Dan Benson, go fuck yourself world.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 12:54:24 GMT

Hey yall..on bout 3 hours of sleep..good stuff. Yesterday ruled (Anselm and his naked-nes, Anslem and the doobie and Anslem/doobie brothers) So then on a whim we decided to go bike riding, originally it wasnt gonna be a long one, but we made it to Danielle's and got the "Magic" lemonade she made us(it was really good, ask her to make some sometime)But after that we got hardcore pumped and were like screw this whimpy shit, were goin to fucking c-burg. so we do, and on the way we made it through the valley of VERY rich ppl, eriks former biking grounds and getting me killed like twice. Bout a block away from Abbys house, we decided to bike in the conservetory, but about goin 50 ft in, it was all mud so we decided against it and went to Abby's, which we stayed like 15 whole minutes before turning around and heading home. It was uneventful till we saw both Lance and then Denker Goon and Chelsea. With Denker & company we decided we were gonna see batman (outta the entire group, only denker eriks and i went)so after we saw batman, dropped abby off and tried to find goon while taking directions from "Stutterman" we failed misserably, or rather they did cuz they both suck at directions and life, so when "Stutterman"'s dad drove goon to our car, eriks, not realizing it was his dad goes out the windo and starts yelling "HEY YOU SUCK AT THE GAME OF LIFE!" Goon then got in the car still in her bathing suit, or rather half of one becuz she "lost" :)her bottom half in the hot tub. Drove her to a house, went home and then watched boondock saints (part till we all fell asleep)and that was my night. Fun stuff, and i didnt have to drive anywhere! ok im off now..church (aka sleep time)

fun stuff

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 17:53:54 GMT

Been a while since ive updated..following major events have taken place: Im legal, Im a underclassman once again

Graduation party at Cj's ruled..not gonna lie,Hank helped hardcore cuz that guy is the shit. Eriks and I took a persons phone and prank called several ppl on the list. One of them was named Zoltan..but we never got through. Anyway, although this wont have nearly the same affect, but youll get the idea.

Sample of me calling Steve Kaplan (people believe hes..ratherlarge)

HEYYYY DUUDEE wee are soooooooo wasted man! HOLY CRAP there are some crazy colors comin outta your ass eriks (eriks) dude!! frogs keep coming outta your mouth..theyre EVERYWHERE!! (me) WOAH MAN THOSE WERE TITS! I SEE TITS! dude..is that Godzilla walking on the street? *makes lip smacking noises on phone*..Ok well dude we got the munchies hardcore dude..called to see if you wanna join since it looks like your into the whole eat alot thing man..o wow, did i mention im soooo high? I cant feel my feet HOLY CRAP DUDE WHERES MY FEET! (Eriks) Easy man, theyre attached to your legs! (me) woah dude your right hahah i see them *into the phone* its ok dude..my feet are there now,they decided to come back. Ok, well i guess your not to talkitive so i guess your not in for the food thing..so peace dude.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:33:04 GMT

So here are my picts from philly everyone..enjoy!

pict #1..me standing right where Rocky ran up the steps at that place in that movie,,i also have the same size shoe!

me with RYAN FREKIN POWELL! ALL U LACROSSE PLAYERS..uk ur jealous!

And Casey and Mikey Powell..all 3

downtown philly...from fairmont park i think?

The end of it all...Duke losing to Hopkins..ik the feeling (ILL GET U MARQUEER!)

Casey in his greatness..look at the fans pressed to the gates!

me and the....official banner? yah im cool!

Maryland vs Duke..dissapointed but w.e still greatness

The BEST game and the worst game..Hopkins/Virgina..1.4 is now the new mark of the devil

me..looking very very confused..*POINT* ive explained myself

me and the pops at the liberty bell..dont know why hes there

jake and I at independence hall (with sticks, we tool em everywhere)

more proof i took my stick everywhere..inside independence all..right where they signed the document thing that did that important thing

jake and I eating..our 2ND favorite pass time ( first for him was chasing stupid girls, me..lacrosse)

Jake at fairmont...with no shirt...he was impressing the black ppl because........

he got this kid to come and play catch with me!

last one from me....at the museum (after our international cabby fight)..sticks still with us

Tue, 31 May 2005 03:40:59 GMT

Well all, Im back from Phili, and what a trip it was. First off, for the lacrosse players, all I gotta say is Powell, thats right, I met all 3 Powells, Mikey, Ryan and Cassey, and I got Cassey and Ryan's Autographs and my picture with Mikey (Jake was off chasing girls and getting free bracelets, he missed out) Ok so recap, we arrive at 1100 their time, get to the hotel and 2 other follow us in, both drunk. This one is my inside joke for Danielle: Guy:Come on baby,lets go. Hooker: Mhmmmmhhmhm yah uk it. Guy to Hotel guy:Hey man, dont worry, we wont be long, shes italian! Conclusion, Italian hookers are fast? Gotta stick with the homegrown. Ok so next day we had the first games, wen to subway,ran into first hobo, and on stairs into subway was a giant pile of human crap sitting on the stairs. We then went to the game and saw Maryland get whooped and then saw a AMAZING game between Hopkins and Virgina. Sadly Virgina was robed. Ok so next event was the cab ride with the old white guy, and when we were cut off by african-americans in a van he yelled "Nigger" Next day. had the D2 and D3 championchips, both great games, later went to fairmont park to play lacrosse. Jake flagged down taxis with his lacrosse stick and got 2 to pull over. The 2 began to fight over us "learn how to fucking drive!" "O yah say it right" "what, you want me to come over there?!" u get the idea. Played lacrosse,and some black ppl were having a picknick, and a bunch wanted Jake to let them try, so i played catch with lil black kids for a while. Umm..so D1 finals occured, I met the powells here, which was uber pimp, these guys are amazing beyond belief. Straight up amazing. Saw a great game between Duke and JH, and JH won, went wlaking after the game, and heres my highlight of thw trip. A black guy with no hands (amputated from elbow up) was rushing down a hill in a wheel chair trying to stop with his feet while he was flailing his nubs in the air and couldnt stop..i dont know how he ended up, but it was effin hilarious. Then we saw a hobo with crap all down his pants, like he didnt know how to use the toliet, and finally, a black midget, homeless as well. Then we met a indian lady (arab) who kept seeing herself in the mirror and was like "I TOLD U TO STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" That was a good laff as well. Yah so its kinda late now, im bushed and I think ill go to sleep. Picts and all, and ne more good stories will be later. Yah..this trip kicked ass, and eriks, sucks to be u.

Thu, 26 May 2005 11:29:11 GMT

Well, today is thursday, and so all chaos for me will break out. Till Next week, i wont really be around. As for the lacrosse team, in my absence, kick Kenosha's ass please..Eriks, I give you full permission to ball-hog it. Anyway, friday im gone to philidelphia for my graduation present, and those who care already know what it is and Im sure their sick of hearing it, so look for me on TV, and if you find me, Ill give you a million dollars, Im in the 30th row on the right corner(but ill prolly end up standing behind Virgina's bench.) Ok well peace out y'all and cya next week sometime.

ITS ANDDDYYY!!!!

Tue, 24 May 2005 00:31:51 GMT

Ladies and Gents, I have pissed myself because i was laffing so hard. I have always wondered what Andy Krklax would look like when he grew up..and now i have found him..if he became buff..with out further ado..Andy K!

Its a small world afterall

Sat, 21 May 2005 10:26:12 GMT

Alrighty people, sorry to break up the really somber mood i made with the last entry, but this is far to rich to pass up. I decided I needed to search for my tru self, so i typed my name in o google..and heres what i got.This guy writes bad poetry,like me! Heres the favorite he had on the site..its about indians and bison..wow!
Way of Life Lost
To be separated from the one you love,
Is to be separated from peace.
Like the great race,
From which we engulfed,
Its mother, Its bison, Its lease.
To lose the creatures,
Which once did reside,
War, Murder, Genocide.
To be separated from the peace you once knew.
Please return precious,
I feel like I'm Sioux.

But the lame poetry compairison isnt the creepy part. At roughly the same time I went and visited Eauclaire, he apparently visited the Grand Caynon, and we both ended up with these picts.

And so that my friends is just creepy, especially if i end up like him..its just not cool..at all..betcha this guy is STILL a virgin. OW NOW BROWN COW!

When in deep thought, stop..it only makes your head hurt

Sat, 21 May 2005 04:37:10 GMT

I have a idea what needs to be done, I dont know how to do it. This is gonna require some thought and possible huge changes. Dont know what Im gonna do here....

o BTW..Sawyer and the terry comment..brilliant

The sun may rise in the east, atleast it settles in a final location

Mon, 16 May 2005 20:51:07 GMT

Fuck..i wrote this once, dissapeared and now im pissed..ill try to recreate it

Ok so saturday was "Post Prom" The highlight was prolly couch fighting with Danielle and Kristen. I wouldve been slaughtered by their merciless attacks but I came prepared. See What many of you dont know is that I am a 6-legged Master of the 2 Claw Defense. This is a rare and powerful martial art, using the most terrifying creature in nature, the crab. Formed in the 6th century, it is located in Ni-Pi-Chi-Ki-Oni-Taichi and produces some of the most ferocious fighters ever. The dojo master, Hilo-Kilo Wutang has been training these warriors for over 200 hundred years. The dojo's motto is "Hu wu yu du chu pu" Which translate to "ILL GO CRAB ON YOUR ASS" The common misconception that crab's is a STD was started simply cause some loser messed with a whore and then messed with a dude from the dojo, got his ass kicked and passed out. When doctors noticed the STD, he was only semi awake and said "I got...crab" but what he meant to say was "I got WHOOPED by a Crab" Many Famous 6-legged masters or Crabs have graduated from this dojo. They include the following:Chris Farley, Dien Bien Fu, Alvin, Papa Smurf, Bruce Lee, Ron Burgandy, Chandy, and me. The most recent method being taught there is one i created. Its called "HOOOOOOOOOO Chi-nu-hoi" or "Crab hides in shell and attacks large bird. It is simple and anyone can do it. I will now teach you.
1.Once attacked, curl in tightly extending your arms
2.Look straight forward with your eye stalks (or if ur a human..just ur eyes)
3.Counter each attack witha quick grabing motion, stopping their attacks
4.Strike back by tickling them into submission
5.Continue till they submit or pee themselves, whichever first

So ya thats it, till another time
6-legged master Butros-Butros (The Big Red One)

@#%@#!^!$^&#$&%&@&&%@

Fri, 13 May 2005 02:35:13 GMT

SO I get home from the game, take out my old F-10 shaft, found the nearest tree, and away i went. Sadly, mainly all the images in my head were that of OUR OWN TEAM! I got so fed up, and i am soo pissed off, even Botachelli came to me after the game and stated..."Dude, why did PERSONS NAME never pass the ball to you? You were left wide so many times, and your the only one with a good left hand." There, its been said, not even by me but one of THERE best players. So i bent the shaft more, huge chunks of tree are gone, and i snapped on my family for trying to comfort me. Yesterday was soooo good, so why the hell did this game have to fuck it all up. DAMIT!!!!!!

BTW..in no ways was i flawless, i fucked up too...but COME ON!

Tue, 10 May 2005 01:50:07 GMT

its been a while..time to bring yall up to speed:
So ever since USM (1) my game has diminished rapidly..atleast ofensively. While i dont find myself bad at offense, the pressure put on me is so much for so little time. For the record, right now, i would trade in my 7 goals to be the lead defender again..i would kill for that. Basically putting about 3 yrs (full, on and off season)on defense and then it being taken away by the fact that another got injured. So w/e, do what the team needs. But yah so today we played, and i was longstick...fun...and then RAIN! VERY FUN! Rain=amazing..ok so thats it..games thursday and friday..and we REALLY could use the support

The Hunter became the Hunted-Anselm

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 11:21:39 GMT

That quote couldnt have been more true last nite on many levels. We played USM last nite, and after a 3 year drought, we finally stuck it to them. Might I add with only one real attacker. So thats meaning #1, because in the first yrs, USM was the hunter, we were the hunted, role reversed now..and ive never been happier bout that. The second meaning was what the comment was originally attended for, and thats me. Im a d-man, I do the killing, just ask eriks, but noooooo ryan was sick and Joe has toe problems (Ill bet its something like athletes foot, jk) so they take andy (a good choice) and me (a seemingly bad choice, seeing as how ive only played indoor with a short stick and this is my first time outdoor and...never really done anything offensive b4, such as cutting) and stick us in with Eriks. I then have to look to the other side of the field, and see my prized possession (defense squad) operate without my help at all (which they did effectively)but furthermore, I was Gebhart-less. I wanted this game because i was gonna mop the ground with Gebhart, but instead, i got to settle a old score with Brofe. He has anger issues, ill put it that way. And by that, i mean he'll hit ya( with body and stick) when the ball is long gone and in places your not sposed to (hip bone, stomach, upper arm)but ne way, i got to burn his stupid slow ass twice, and after indoor and all the times he was a cheap motha fucka...it was good. K so long story short, cuz bus is coming soon, we did it, Anslem-1 Emory-1 Eriks-1 Mike T-1 Me-3. My new line- WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE D-MAN SCHOOLS YOU!

O and btw..abby thinks my new SN should be laxgoalscorer..but i prolly wont do it.

We Give it allll

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 16:44:08 GMT

So today we ventured into Madison with a small scouting force (like 14 guys, 10 needed to play) We were suddenly set upon by rouges from Oregon (wisconsin) We struck quickly, beating them for the first 3 quaters and then it fell apart, and I personally take responsibillity for that loss, the last 2 goals=my bad. We barely escaped there with our lives losing only Mike T. and Joe(his toes hurt)Finally, we reached the ultimate destination, madison west. Knowing our even smaller force of 10 was badly outnumbered by there 30+ we bravely fought. Later, 2 of our mislead warriors arrived bring our total to 12. However during the battle, I was shot in the ribs. I went down, and didnt really hear ne thing ppl said, so if you all were like "GET UP YOU PUSSY ASS BITCH!" I wouldnt know. Finally i got to my feet with trouble breathing and blood gushing!(not really)We then proceeded to get beat, but because of our valiant efforts, the Madison West team recognized us as having great potential (because they KICK ASS)
NE way..somehow anslem&company decided that the one shot I took was worthy of recognition, so they gave me a hug (equal to a medal of honnor..easily) And so now my ribs, shins, arms and elbow hurt badly but im alive and thats my saturday

THis is the part where the rap breaks down

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 02:29:04 GMT

Alrighty peoples..Im gonna write everything I found wrong with the game versus Eastside..here is my PROTEST!!

I, Daniel Benson hearby declare my gripes with the game we have just played. Although I do not have any current issues with memebers of the Eastside team (beacause they seemingly played fair and well..good sports all around) I have several complaints of our team and of course the ref. To get the dirty shit out of the way, I will start with us.

1. Man down defense, or defense in general. Before I start, I am also very much part of the team,and if there is ANYTHING that I havent done, I need to know simply because I refuse to be anything less than amazing, and if theres something im not doin, then in my book, im not amazing...so let me know..ok so man down defense, were in a "box" for a reason. You therefore have a area to cover and nothing more, not a guy, but ne body or thing that is in that area. If your man is behind the goal on man down, he poses ABSOULUTELY NO THREAT DO NOT EVER CHASE HIM BEHIND ON MAN DOWN. Also, if a man cuts, you do not leave your post, you follow him till he goes into the next players zone, and then it is his responsibilty..the goalie should be alerting players of cutting activity, but i cant really blame our goalie here for that one. Also, we spent almost half a practice yesterday learning how to play good 1v1 defense. What I saw today was lunging,novelty-1 time checks and finally over comitting/playing too far out. The whole idea of defense is not to be god and take him to school and dystroy him with a monster hit or check, but rather keep him at bay, push him out with CONTROLLED BODY (meaning u dont lunge, you keep composure and are able to recover incase you fail to control him. Always keep sqaure with your opponent and have your stick pointing at him, the only thing that should ever turn away from your man is your head, and that should always be on a swivel. Now I will say that on occasion i am not ALWAYS squared with my man..but i am once he has the ball. With stick checks, you do not lunge, the are parrallel pokes or slaps, much like a pool cue in the case of the pokes (if u shot pool, you wouldnt fling yourself on the table at the ball, and like wise you wouldnt throw yourself at the opposing player). Finally, over comitting and sliding. Overcomitting, the definition I would use, is when you are far enough out tnat if he makes a move and burns you, you wouldnt have the space or time to recover your positioning. This is all prevented by starting the guy on 1v1 a stick length away, or giving yourself time to recover. Ending defense on a positive not, sliding was decent, and well executed by making the hits count. The thing that needs improvement, and I think i may be guilty of this, Is the covering the slack (extra guy) that has been left behind. In summation, the defense NEEDS to come to practice EVERY DAY POSSIBLE and work as a unit, because although you may be able to hold a man 1v1, you very well could have a teamate who cant.

2.Matchups
This will be considerably shorter. The fact of the matter is this. There are certain qualities each player posses. For some, its amazing stick skills, and others amazing speed or brute strength. ANY of these combined with expirence (Pierlas, Botchelli)are deadly. You simply cannot have under exp. or under qualified men guarding these people. More so the 1st that 2nd. A newb simply doesnt carry the same knowlege as his expirenced opponent, and therefore after a solitary dodge, is prone to be burned and look like a idiot. Today there were atleast 2 times I thought to myself "this middie guarding jason will be burned" Sure enough, it happened both times, the first one due to lack of calibur,and the 2nd time, just cause of raw inexpierence. Therefore, if your line sees mis-matchs, switch it up so that the plays and defense can be better cordinated.

3. Working the ball around
My god. The plays we called DONT WORK!!! WE HAVENT PERFECTED THEM, SO WHO EVER CALLS IT QUIT TRYING TO BE THE BIG SHOW CAUSE IT AINT HAPPENING! Its far better to just work the ball around,switch directions and cut in occasionly than to try and attempt a play half-assed that some of the current players havent even been there to do. Leave it for practice or on your own time,the game is time to use sound fundementals in order to achieve victory. Passing is crucial, and everyone must count. A bad pass is a free ticket for the other team to get the ball and potentially a fast break. No stupid passes down the middle. The one time this should EVER happen is if there is a cutter and you are able to gun it in the small pocket of space to the attacker. Regular feeding passes should never be over the middle. Finally, I know all you attackers who read this are like WTF is up with this guy, hes a defender, the hell does he know about this. Well for starters, in indoor i finished 2nd to only eriks in goals, and even then i was dam close, averaging 1.5 a game or close to it, but atleast one. I also know that shooting from the "close" outside works. Wind up and take a shot, put it on the ground or upper corners. There are only 3 thing that will happen and 2 have positive outcomes for us. 1 is the defender gets hit and prolly hurt. 2. Goalie saves it, but if you shoot it right and fast enough, this wont happen. 3is you score, and this has worked often for me in indoor (which has a small goal, and wooden boards lately or a heavier padded goalie) Summation, fundamentals are key, and make sure you are always moving to provide a pass, there should always be atleast 2 available outlets.

4.Ref
The one I like the most, but can say in the least words. The ref SUCKED! Lets be serious, he couldnt tell a hit with or without posession if his life depended on it. He also needs to realize that when the 2people are face to face and one gets rocked to the ground, its not a hit from behind beacuse the guy was FACING him. I honestly can say all that went bad with this guy, so please chime in. However, I will provide a list of alternative refs. id rather have.

Cid, Nate, Kane, Terry, Killabrew, My mom, matt damon, kent, Ron burgandy, a pile of shit, a dead baby, my dad, Eriks's mom (thats bad), Josh Newby, other gay ppl, shit on a stick, steven, emily, PISORS EVEN!,Dorthy Mantooth, Alex Trabeks mother, Mr. Bowers, Chuck Norris, Nate again, Joe B., Andy K., Me, mine or ne ones right hand, a squirrel and....a black lady named Taquisha. If you got any more, lay em on me.

Ok so that sums it all up. Basically it will all come with practice, but since not everyone makes it everday, it is their responsiblity to do there own drills at home. For defense I personally recomend jump rope, it helps alot. Sorry if Im bitching, but this is the aftermath of frustration. I do not care to elevate myseld above anyone nor declare myself superior, like im untouchable. I make errors like everyone else, and I need you ppl to point them out, so please let me know, because by improving me and the others, we improve the team.

Dan Benson

YOUR MOTHER TRABEK!

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 02:14:36 GMT

So its oficial..after today, Eriks supreme dominance over the defensive squad has been abolished..after i took him and stopped him the majority of times in 1v1 face offs.. SO TAKE THAT!!! this however doesnt mean eriks is ne less good...just means i now dominate.

Tomarrow at 530 game starts...we need fans for Cj..please!

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 02:02:53 GMT

Ok so this entry has a double bonus..one is a picture of one of the greatest views ever (taken from my trip to Eauclaire and there is no grass...thats all trees!)

And the other is the life story of Bert "LaSalle" and the common misconceptions that hes a good guy

Hello and Welcome again to A&E Biographies. Tonite we bring you the story of a mans face seen everyday by kids across the world as a role model, but we will now expose the horrifying truths of Bert LaSalle

Bert LaSalle imortalized in kids minds. But thats not all. He exsisted long before any of us. He tempted Adam and Eve, and even got his own Sphinx. The Eygptians honored him as the god of pimps.

Bert has always been politcally active, and a known traitor to Democracy. Here he converses with 2 of the worlds worst dictators, all of which he pleasured orally, and therefore stayed alive.

He has even gone as far as conversing with the Devil himself!!!!

Bert is clearly a rebel as shown here..he also participates in several activities that aren't acceptable for his day time job. Because of this, Bert is very secretive and hides alot. He has also been arrested 3 times for drug running in Colombia

Here is Bert's partner in crime, kermit

One little known fact of Bert is he is a acitve memeber of the KKK. This was one of his highest kept secrets as minority viewers would have dropped to a all time low.

Here is evidence from a TV show that bert is indeed gay,,however this is not the case as in Sesame street, Bert and Ernie clearly sleep in 2 beds

And this is where Bert is now. Maria and Luis, co-stars on Sesame Street left and became multi-billionaires. They later returned to build their headquaters on Sesame Street. Howeverm the muppets being rejects had no other place to live and rather than get ousted from their land, they decided to convert to islam and carry out a jihad against Maria and the Latino invaders. Bert continues the fight to this day....

Thank you for joining us on another A&E Biographies, join in next time for more mysteries unfolded.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:31:53 GMT

HEY HEY EVERYONE! this is benson's favorite person ever. ABBY! YAY! hehe anyone who is going to read this probably has no idea who I am but I'm okay with that. Well I take that back Eriks and Lauren will, but that's about it. But yeah. I might go to the Lacrosse game on friday..actually i might not but i will go to one eventually because benson and eriks and ....umm.. MAC? came to my volleyball team's tournament. We sucked that day but thats okay. okay so now im rambling...im going to scroll down to the update journal button and click it and this is going to work...BYEBYE PEACE & LOVE as eriks and I like to say